I have started in Alcoholic Anonymous and I’ve been on my 4th day sober, but now I’m sitting with a glass of wine and hate myself. I couldn’t be sober anymore, the world is way too frightening and hideous and I couldn’t do it anymore. Au Revoir Simone is playing on my iPod with Sad Song, and I’m the saddest I could be. Not even keeping myself sober is succeding. I thought I could do this. I got my first 24-hour coin and thought that would keep me from drinking, but no. And I’m not even sure I’m an alcoholic.